Bar-hopping Enthusiast T-Shirts

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

Dolphin friendly tuna

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Just the one...

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Last Chance For Reality

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

Next Round Indicator

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'