Bar-going Prints

Nobody cares how you feel about the election.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Dolphin friendly tuna

Best Before 5th Pint.

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Just the one...

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Watching the football.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Next Round Indicator

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.