Visiting Bars Gifts

Swan Inn: No children or men in lycra

"Actually, right now I'm in retox."

Ooze: A Primordial Bar and Grill

"One can only hope this is the raw stuff of art."

Your happy hour is a joke. Since this is a comic strip, could you at least make it a joke with a punch line? Happy Hour 5-5:30,

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

Ballet! Boy, this place sure had me fooled!

'Hello, Stranger. Hello' even Stranger.'

"I'm getting a second opinion from Al's Bar and Grill."

"What I like about this place is they let - if you'll pardon the expression - sleeping dogs lie."

Perfectly fitted to his environment, the crafty and experienced hunter has his prey firmly in view, ready to hit.

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Watching the football.

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.