Psychology Jester Gifts

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

The prying mantis,

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"This will be hilarious!"

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"Am I through to the next round?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."