Psychology Jester Pillows

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"This will be hilarious!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

The prying mantis,

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

'Dear, couldn't you spend part of your time actually hunting something?'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

'It's not that I don't appreciate your efforts to put magic into our marriage...'

"There's a shortage of beds, dear."

'I told her my biological clock was going off, and she hit my snooze alarm.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."