Interviewee Jester Gifts

"Everyone in personnel had a good laugh at what you put down as your suggested starting salary."

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

"It says here that in your last job you did a lot of traveling."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

When Pro Athletes Enter The Workforce.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"The job is yours. You're a jerk, we're all jerks, I think it'll be a great fit!"

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Jane is sales, Fred is accounting, and Johnny's song and dance."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I'm not lazy. I'm resting before I get tired."