Psychiatric Therapist Gifts

Psychiatric Clinic. I'm not sure giving a narcissist an hour a week where it's all about him counts as therapy.

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Lynching on social media

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Support the Ex-Troops

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Fear/Knowledge

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Licensed Therapist

America, are we learning anything?

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"