Psychotherapist Gifts

'In the interest of full disclosure, I should inform you that I define an hour as 40 minutes.'

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Doc I just don't believe in myself anymore.'

"You have got to want to change."

Crisis Management Training

'So the happy meal didn't work.'

'Everyone accuses me of being a 'control freak'.'

People respond to their map of reality - NOT reality

A therapist hides behind sandbags as a general talks of war.

We process all information through our senses...

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

'Now now -- the fact that no one has stolen your identity doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'My life is an open Facebook.'

"After-psychotherapy mint?"

'Perfectly normal ? everyone loves to see lawyers suffer.'

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

'EVERYTHING in moderation?.. Don't you think that's a bit EXTREME?'

'What makes you think you can solve all your problems by flying south?'

A man's health care options.

'Of course I have a grandoise sense of self-importance. Who doesn't?'

'If your smartphone is your significant other, I'm afraid this more serious than I thought.'

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"So you feel you're being pulled in different directions, stretched too thin, and wound too tightly? Talk to me about that."

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Bats in your belfry.

'Having a choice is better than not having a choice'

Modeling Successful Performance leads to excellence

'I feel a bit of a prick!'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'