Psychotherapist T-Shirts

'In the interest of full disclosure, I should inform you that I define an hour as 40 minutes.'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

"You have got to want to change."

Crisis Management Training

'Everyone accuses me of being a 'control freak'.'

'So the happy meal didn't work.'

A therapist hides behind sandbags as a general talks of war.

'I don't know who I am. I have a donor heart, a donor kidney, a donor liver,a donor cornea, a donor lung...'

We process all information through our senses...

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'Now now -- the fact that no one has stolen your identity doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.'

"After-psychotherapy mint?"

'Perfectly normal ? everyone loves to see lawyers suffer.'

'EVERYTHING in moderation?.. Don't you think that's a bit EXTREME?'

'If your smartphone is your significant other, I'm afraid this more serious than I thought.'

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'What makes you think you can solve all your problems by flying south?'

A man's health care options.

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'Of course I have a grandoise sense of self-importance. Who doesn't?'

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

Sports complex

'I feel a bit of a prick!'

'And whenever I attempt cybersex, my computer freezes.'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Bats in your belfry.

'Having a choice is better than not having a choice'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Sticker on car outside Department of Psychotherapy reads, "Go to work on an ego."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

My name is Genghis Khan, and I'm today's keynote speaker on anger management.

(I'm afraid someone is going to expose me as a phony, a fraud, … A complete charlatan.) (Uh, oh! He's on to me!)

"But it would be rude to raise taxes on my friends."

'I dreamed I was flying. I was flying over a statue of mother.'