Protective Parent Antics Gifts

'Hey - you groomin' my kid?'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'She's just great with the children.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Circus Act

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

First Steps

Skateboard