Parental Antics Gifts

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

'If he weren't my child, I wouldn't let my child play with him.'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'The kids were so sweet...'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Are we there yet?'

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Use your inside scream."

A baby in court

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Children's Nursery

'It wasn't premeditated.

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a sugar buzz.'

'I counted them as well. . .There were four too many.'

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

Fat Kid 4- Makes his own balloons (colour)

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

'It was self-defense - the clock struck first.'

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"