Protective Parent Gifts

Thanks to her new food-breath analyzer Cheryl could find out what her kids really had for lunch.

That's two dimensional violence. What I worry about is three dimensional violence outside.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

Parent Supervision on Teen Driving.

'I'm not actually fat - my mum wraps me up in cotton wool.'

"It was just a matter of time until my helicopter mom became my drone mom."

"This is my son 'Likes to Hunt', and my daughter, 'Keep Your Hand Off or My Father Will Kill You.'"

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

Safety is about FAMILY!...

"I bought the biggest and loudest baby monitor on the market. You can never be too safe."

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Beware of the Hockey Mom

"My mom says, you can never be too safe."

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'Why are you so upset over a little thing like your daughter's bikini.'

'This way, please. Additional screening required.'

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

'Don't worry. That's just our mom hiding behind your hedge.'

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

Put on some clothes. You'll catch your death! Do you know what time it is? You're so skinny, are you eating? Let me make you a sandwich! Mamarazzi.

I would help, but my mom makes me wear a mouthguard.

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," What's your problem?! My song just started preschool. This sweet, innocent child who's seen nothing but "Sesame Street"

"Now, take all the change and everything else out of your pockets and go through again." "Mom!"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'