Parental Protectiveness Enthusiast Gifts

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

First Steps

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Isn't that adorable?"

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"Congratulations! It's a doctor!"

Whatever you do, don't ask him about his children… God's wallet.

"Accepting the applause for Mr. Fontana—Mr. Fontana's mother."