Parental Protectiveness Enthusiast Pillows

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"Congratulations! It's a doctor!"

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."