Protective Parent Antics Pillows

'Hey - you groomin' my kid?'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'She's just great with the children.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Circus Act

"Wheeeeeeee!"

First Steps

"Don't take the ones with teeth marks. They've got hard centres ."

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.