Overprotective Dad Enthusiast Pillows

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

No Immediate Danger

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

"I realize some of your friends have them, but you cannot have a webcam in your room."

"Apparently, my mom knew I'd be bringing my phone to the beach. She put a floatie on it."

'Do you think he's starting to out grow the pram?'

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

"What is this? A note? Gracie must have dropped it..."

"Gracie, is this a love note? Who's Tyler?"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

"You spoil that child!"