Overprotective Dad Admirer Pillows

"What's this? A note? Gracie must have dropped it."

No Immediate Danger

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

First Steps

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

"That's right, my dad is training for the Pamplona fun-run..."

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Guess what Daddy, Gerald plays hockey!

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

Bring my daughter back at 11 sharp or...

My mom won't let me walk to school. I might get mugged. She won't let me play sports. I might get injured. West Fester High School. And she won't let me get onto the scales. Why not? It might hurt my self-esteem.

"I asked my Mom to drive me to school because the bus doesn't have airbags"

'Dad - couldn't you miss just a little of my growing up?'

"Of course I trust your judgement dear. But, it can't hurt to do a quick police check on your new boyfriend."

"Mom always was a helicopter mom, and now she's got a drone!"

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

"Gracie, is this a love note? Who's Tyler?"

one final word. bring my daughter home at 11pm sharp or. . .

"Jimmy has helicoptor parents."

Parental Valentines Day Cards

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

"You spoil that child!"

"My mom is making walk around in this sterile bubble. It's only until the flu season is over."

"My wife says the girls are too young to move out. They're 29 and 26."

'The cows are home, the chickens at roost, your horse is in the barn, and I expect you home by 10 PM,'