Overprotective Enthusiasts Pillows

"You spoil that child!"

No Immediate Danger

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Personnel: 'I promised Mom I'd call her when I got here safely - do you mind?'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Daddy, you're not going to give us a sermon on responsible behavior, are you?"

Health and Safety Gone Mad - "It doesn't look safe, his face is totally exposed to danger."

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

Took a tiny nothing molehill and created this huge, amazing mountain

'Oh, Daddy's old gun?... I think he's planning on showing it to you. He always said, it was there in case I ever brought a boyfriend home.'

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

This sun block lotion is so strong, it protects you from sun, lightning strikes, nuclear radiation, and will block cell phone transmissions at 50 feet!

'The cows are home, the chickens at roost, your horse is in the barn, and I expect you home by 10 PM,'

'Hi, son, it's the Momster again.'

"What's this? A note? Gracie must have dropped it."

'I don't care how much you paid for it! It's not staying in our bed!'

"Rayna, you wanna go on a date?"

"Dad, can I go to Rex's house to play on his swing?"