Protective Parent Enthusiast Gifts

"Rayna, you wanna go on a date?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"My mom can be a little over-protective ... "

"Here are all of my dependents."

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"Isn't that adorable?"

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

'He's about to destroy his first city and you're in a meeting?'

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

"Accepting the applause for Mr. Fontana—Mr. Fontana's mother."

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."