Parental Protectors Gifts

Wrapping children in cotton wool.

"Here's your prescription, Dave. And I take it you'll be cancelling your date with my daughter?!"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

First Steps

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

License, registration, and some I.D. for the small child watching what appears to be a completely inappropriate PG-13 movie in the back.

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"No - wait, I haven't read them all yet..."

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

I wish my baby came with suction cups so there was a place to put him while I shower.

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"Lawsuits must really be getting out of hand."

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."