Family Protectors Gifts

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

The AdRams Family no.14 - Filtering the internet for kids

"Don't leave you kids and pets in your hot car."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

'Dad, there's a whaler under my bed!'

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

'What do you mean, you don't like the look of him - What has he ever done to you?'

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

"This may surprise you, Worthington, but I'm a man who believes that nothing in life is as important as family."

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid.'

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'