Protector Of The Family Gifts

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

Policeman talking to lost child

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Overprotective Father

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid.'

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

"Here's Mommy now!"

Safety is about FAMILY!...

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

'What do you mean, you don't like the look of him - What has he ever done to you?'