Protector Of The Family Pillows

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

Policeman talking to lost child

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

"We can't wake her, she's sleepwalking."

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Overprotective Father

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

Bad Grammar, But Good Pluck.

"I don't want you swimming in the ocean -- it's a toilet that hasn't been flushed in 4 billion years."

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

Please examine your children's tv before they watch it as mistakes can not afterwards be rectified

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"I just decided what my daughter is going to wear to this year's prom."

"My father would never let me marry a boy with a combover."

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

Be sure to tell us if the school tries cyberspying again. Ok, mom. It's wrong to snap webcam pics of students. Uh-huh. They shouldn't use computers that way! Besides, it's a waste of time. They could just check the kid's facebook page, What were they thinking?

"These family dinners have become a lot friendlier since we started wearing nametags."

"Grumble all you want, but if you're not wearing your PPE, I won't let you use tools!"

Safety is about FAMILY!...

'Nobody kicks sand in Henry's face!'

"So long, Ma, I'm riding off into the sunset."

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

"Here's Mommy now!"

'How should I know why my daughter has not spoken to me in over a month, stupid.'

'Your honor, we find the defendant not guilty, but we sure wouldn't let our daughters go out with him!'