Professional Golf Tours Gifts

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I hope you replace your divots.'

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'Don't move.'

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Travel Scenes

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"If three coins in the Trevi fountain will work, why not lots?"

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"Duh!"

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

"What have you done?"

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'