Golf Tournaments Gifts

I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!

'I took third place on our corporate golf outing, You should see the first place trophy,'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Golfing Boss

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

No-Work Orange

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Knight Golfing

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

I guess she had other plans for you.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Golfing Bishop.

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

"The goal is to hate yourself."

I think you're ace

Snooker Golf.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'I hope you replace your divots.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Zeus's Caddy

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.