Weekend Golfers Gifts

Divining Oil

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"Hey, Stretch. Mind if we play through?"

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

The Masters.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

An Eskimo ice fishing on a golf course.

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

Kangaroo golf-caddy.

Golfballs 19th drinking hole

"How'd it happen?

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"Would you like Daddy to tend the pin?"

Golfing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. May the fours be with you! Especially of the par fives.

The natural selection process in golf.

'No pressure, Louie!!'

"The seventh green is gonna be a bitch!"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

"Not just Sundays, I think it's a sin for you to play any day!"

"Wanna play doctor?"

Skunk dreaming.

"Your kind of course, dad."

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

A sand trap is also called a "bunker." That makes no sense. A "bunker" is usually a place to avoid a disaster, not create one.

On particularly buggy days, Carl wore his citronella candle cap.

I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!

"Sigh! No boating today." "For? Damn!" "Okay, prep her. Oh, and cancel my tee time." "How elective surgery really works."

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

Roman Golfer.

'Remember I said almost anyone can learn to play golf, well you're the almost.'