Golf Championship Season Gifts

Paul Lawrie

Bowled over again!

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

Golf lessons

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

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'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

'Don't move.'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'He got a hole in one today.'

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Giant Foam Finger'.

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

"Duh!"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

Welcome to summer school.

I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"He,he!. . . Some guy on the ninth hole is going crazy looking for this!"

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'