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Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I hope you replace your divots.'

Golf lessons

Golfer wears 'How's my driving?' t-shirt.

'Not that slowly back...'

'I don't care if you do need practice hitting out of the sand. The cat needs her litter box!'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'I wonder why my master never makes it into the Master's Tournament?'

'Don't move.'

The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

Man in artic weather playing sport with snow balls

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"There goes the merger between Brigg's corporation and Ludlow industries!"

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'No, you can't win it. But if you can figure out how to get my wife's car off the lake, I'd appreciate it.'

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

Travel Scenes

"If three coins in the Trevi fountain will work, why not lots?"

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

"Now might be a good time to talk about your grip."

"Duh!"

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

"What have you done?"

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

I procrastinated and need to work on my taxes today. They're due this week. Doing your taxes is like playing golf. The rules for both are very complex. With taxes and golf I incur huge penalties for going out of bounds. And sometimes it seems like everybody else is cheating. Well, it looks like I owe thousands! I never get to take any deductions in golf or taxes. The final number in both is huge and somehow it all seems unfair!

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'