Probate Specialist Gifts

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'My final offer.'

"Negotiations are at a crucial phase. We're desperately seeking more ways to say 'no'.''

Teaching evolution in the business schools.

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

Before The Merger.

'Consolidation is tearing us apart.'

"Apparently he took it all with him."

"Sir, the competition is here to discuss the merger."

'It appears that Megalamp Industries, a conglomerate, wants to take over our family.'

The Controversial Will

Lawrence of Arbitration

"Do you, Scofield Industries, take Amalgamated Pipe?"

'Suddenly, I feel quite vulnerable.'

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

'The negotiation is in total deadlock. It's time for the medieval option.'

'In tough negotiations I've found a bit of eyeliner really distracts them!'

"Maybe I should have gone with cremation."

A Over Crowded Office.

Man driving a single wheel

"There's nothing left. He made sure all his accounts were hacked."

'Your grandfather's will is quite specific. You just get his ashes... and those only after they're been sifted and any gold teeth removed!'

'Do you have any 'hostile takeover' condolence cards?'