Probate Advisor Gifts

"Down the corridor, third right, and take with you as many as you think you'll need."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

SAGE mentality

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Rock and a Hard Place

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

Icarus, you are not flying anywhere until you put on some sunscreen.

"Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended..."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

Half a house is better than none.

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"Some of it is soft and some of it is hard, but the main thing is that all of it is money."

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

The Election Strategy

StRATegist: Dominic Cummings

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

Another Rogue Trader

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

'He's trying to fine-tune the economy again.'

'I wouldn't put much faith into Senator Bludgeon's promise to immediately begin investigating the competition. After all, it takes 30 days just to make instant coffee in the Senate.'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Voting in the UK

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"