Privatization Skeptic Gifts

Essential / Non Essential Signpost - 'It's way more competitive since they turned things over to the private sector.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"First Big Oil, the Big Steel, and now, Big Cookie."

"I'm worried. We're small enough to fail, but not big enough to be bailed out!"

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

'I'm going to be honest about this -- I'm from the Government, and I'm here to bamboozle you.'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

'Looks like the cable merger is concentrating too much market in one telecommunications giant.'

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

'Okay - Who built this site?'