Profit Skeptics Gifts

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Progress?

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

"You know it almost BEGGARS belief that so many people are unwilling to pay for professional pension advice."

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

'Rumors...'

Home improvements do not always represent a sound investment.

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'

Victims of Financial Consultant's

"There's a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called corporate banking."

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

Research For Money