Profit Philosopher Gifts

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

He doesn't believe we're making any money unless plant five is polluting the atmosphere.

'I've been doing a lot of soul searching, Jenkins, and I've realized there's just so much more to money than life.'

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Tempest in a Teapot

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Money is life's report card."

Worked Well In Groups...

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Money god

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

Economic Downturns