Financial Philosopher Gifts

Sisyphus Revisited.

"Luckily, our retirement funds are entirely in double lattes."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Being insolvent isn't all that bad...just be thankful you're not one of your creditors."

"Just because you work at a bad bank doesn't make you a bad banker."

"I'll tell you the meaning of life, if you tell me why bond prices drop when interest rates go up."

'The strange thing is it started out as a blueprint for a retirement plan.'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'Welcome to Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, the investment hindsight show.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Procrastination is not tax deductible.

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?' The discovery that money actually does grow on trees.

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'The secret of a contented life, my son, is to invest in true low-cost index funds.'

Worriers Support Group.

'Well, technically speaking, we do have a conscience...'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

'Call it in the air: raised digits or magnetic strip.'

"It's like this. If the rich have money, they invest. If the poor have money, they eat."

"Sometimes you eat the bear, Ellen. Sometimes the bear eats you."

'Our research shows that stocks will rise. We just don't know where or when.'

'Stocks posted gains today on news the 'Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle' was found to be a certainty.'

"Dreaming the impossible dream didn't make me rich. SELLING the impossible dream made me rich!"

'If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?'

'After reviewing my student loans, I wrote my thesis on deficit spending.'

'When I was a girl my father brought home the bacon. Now we both work just to afford eggs.'

'Remember the old days when all we had to worry about was moral bankruptcy?'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

Remember: Elevators May Go Down as Well as Up

'On my salary, microeconomics is all I can afford.'

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Dad...you're a grown up, you can do anything you want to do...what keeps you from just running wild?' 'Poverty!'