Finance Philosopher Gifts

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

The Victorious Turtle

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"As a Baby Boomer, I never thought the boom would be the sound of my retirement accounts collapsing."

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

Debt.

'I was hoping my life would fit the rags to riches model. Instead I've had to settle for rags to large amounts of unsecured debt.'

'Greenspan today explained the reason the Fed faises interest rates is so they can lower them again.'

"Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax. Not having to pay it."

"I forget—are these your friends where we pretend we make more money than we actually do, or less?"

'How can a loan be risky when you can get a government bailout?'

"Mr. Harlow, let me give you a piece of advice: Everything is a bubble."

Sign over one of three teller lines at a bank reads "Reassurances"

"It just appeared after I'd transferred my portfolio into ethical investments."

Trying to make ends meet in a parallel universe.

"I worry that we're headed for a future where you won't be able to earn three hundred times the salary of your lowest paid worker."

'What a coincidence. My student loan payment is the same as my unemployment check.'

Recycling.

Getting a second opinion on the financial aspects of your treatment."

'Say, aren't you my old financial advisor?'

'The cost of living is always the same, all you have and a little more.'

'So that's why your stock sells at 36,000 times earnings.'

Where is Goes

"I'll not be a grub forever...soon I'll be a butterfly...I'll be in the money...DRAT!"

"Since when is malicious, meanspirited and possibly criminal behavior considered unacceptable."

'I used to be a 'nut', but since I made millions in the market, I'm a 'contrarian'.'

Insider knowledge weight heavily on his mind.

"They say money talks, but why is it so quiet in banks?"

'I think we'll be out of the woods as soon as we fell a few redwoods.'

'I have a little financial problem in my marriage. My husband doesn't believe in paying for anything with cash, check or credit card.'

Money may be the root of all evil, but it still doesn't grow on trees.

"Don't start blubbing - they could stampede."

"They're my advisors on greedy investments, and socially responsible investments."

"Call me a pie-in-the-sky idealist, but I've always found it important to invest with a firm that reflects my values!"

'In my twenties I spread risk around promiscuously. Now I'm a one portfolio man.'