Privatization Pundit Gifts

Highway robbery, inc. (formerly 'govt. toll booth') - 'We were privatized.'

"This is part of the privatisation I don't like."

'Our best exit strategy is to privatize the military and send in mercenaries.'

'I want to post this letter complaining about the erosion of the postal service.'

Hate Platforms

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

Invade/Fail/Deny

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'Make a patriotic decision. Do you want your son to live in a public health insurance tyranny or do you want to let him die as a free American who doesn't have the money to pay for medical treatment?'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I liked it better when it was 'don't ask, don't tell the New York Times'."

Johnson allows the Delta variant to run wild in Britain

Davos.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"The Nominees"

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

Half a house is better than none.