Business Pundit Gifts

"Gee, I'm not so sure about that one."

'Do I believe?? Listen, I believe in anything that generates $400 billion in annual sales!'

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'It's cheaper than gas.'

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."