Financial Pundit Gifts

"A group of taxpayers are here to give you your bonus, sir."

Good news from Brussels

"It's Athens, sir. They're offering to prop up the pound."

"It looks like the bull market is over."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

Bank of England Base Rates.

"Remember, son, what doesn't kill you, makes you poorer."

Liquidity Lunch

'What's worse, environmentalists now say our toxic investments have polluted the global economy.'

Euro crisis.

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

I might have granted your loan request, if it wasn't written on a beer mat.

Monday is 'Casino Night'.

"Just look at the interest rate! And I always thought bank robbery involved using a gun!"

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

'I wish European economies were less shaky!'

How the mysterious global economy works: Somewhere in Singapore, a tiny butterfly flaps its wings, and within minutes, the repercussions are felt halfway around the world.

"Nothing puts me in the holiday spirit like a bailout."

California: The Beholden State.

"Tomorrow's weather will not be good... so why not stay at home and enjoy the economy?"

No recession: 'It's the worst boom year we've had in years'

Women wanting to date me is like government debt. Because it's solid and you can count on it? No, because the rate of interest is at an all-time low! (Published previously on July 19, 2010).

The wealthy are also struggling to make ends meet.

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

Davos.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."