Boardroom Pundit Gifts

"Anyone who opposes my proposal lift an arm!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'The 'meows' have it...'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'Would you believe it took 60 people and a half a million dollars to come up with that?'

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'