Boardroom Pundits Gifts

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'