Boardroom Pundits Gifts

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

Boring Board Meeting

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."