Boardroom Philosophers Gifts

'Speaking for myself and every other right-thinking person...'

"Well, it could be the rising tide of consumer indifference to our company's latest product, or it might be the sink in the men's bathroom acting up again. We're still not sure."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Genius

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

Worked Well In Groups...