Corporate Philosophers Gifts

"Do you ever feel like it's all pointless?" "I mean, I do the same thing every day. Nothing changes. I'm not getting anywhere." "It's so depressing I can hardly stand it." "What does it all mean? What is it all about? What keeps us going?" "It's payday!" "And soon, the weekend!"

'The cream rises to the top.' - 'So does the scum.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

Motivation to work

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'My pessimism keeps me optimistic.'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I think we're all agreed that we need to focus 110% on meeting strategic corporate goals."

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"Just go with the workflow."

The role of administration.

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Apparently you can't fire everybody and still maintain productivity.'