Boardroom Philosopher Gifts

'It's a thin dividing line,Johnson. Let's just ignore it.'

"On the one hand, eliminating the middleman would result in lower costs, increased sales, and greater consumer satisfaction; on the other hand, we're the middleman."

'But APART from increased profitability, better customer support, enhanced margins, reduced stress and improved staff morale WHAT is the POINT of all this emphasis on increased PRODUCTIVITY?'

'By the time we came up with a mission statement, we were out of business.'

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"O.K., who can put a price on love? Jim?"

"I think it's time we acknowledged the elephant in the room."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

"We need to develop a long term strategy to achieve consistent quick fixes."

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

"All in favor, say, 'Aye'."

'My God! We've merged with ourselves!'

'We want you to stop reporting on a need-to-know basis, Childers, and start reporting on a want-to-hear basis.'

Business man to lady: 'I thought the meeting was thorough and complete. I didn't understand a word that was said.'

"Will they hate me if I talk?"

'It's not important to know all the answers. It's more important to anticipate all the questions and be ready to offer suitable platitudes.'

'No, you're getting it wrong. We must think inside the box.'

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

'But we can console ourselves that money is the root of all evil.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Morality is always context dependent. And around here the context is: profits."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

"Of course what we're doing is wrong, but that doesn't make it indefensible."

"Why is our company always at the back of the wagon train?"

"You know what I think, folks? Improving technology isn't important. Increased profits aren't important. What's important is to be warm, decent human beings."

"I'm waiting for an idea whose time has come, but it's late. What are you doing?"

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

'None of us here are whiter than white, gentlemen,,, Well, maybe with the exception of Wilson over there,'

"Gentlemen, we are going to have to think outside the bauxite."

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

"Remember, when they go low... we observe shareholder value and act accordingly."

'If you're successful, you have money. . . and if you have money, you're successful. . . Any Questions?'