Boardroom Guru Gifts

'It has to be understandable, Higbe. A code of ethics is not actually to be written in code.'

The Chairperson must be empowered to ensure that no individual or individuals dominate the meeting and discourage others from having their say.

"Before I continue past my opening joke, I want to know if she is laughing or crying."

"It's time to call in other people who don't know more but are just different."

"I have served on various boards of directors, and I am a longstanding member of the organization Businessmen Without Boundaries."

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'

Okay, now we've got a quorum!

'Honey, honey. You've got to stop walking and talking in your sleep!'

"Still, I think we should be proud that we did it as a team!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"