Boardroom Ace Gifts

'What makes you think I like making this meeting difficult?'

'You have a board meeting on 8.'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

Bo're'droom

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"My report to the board was perfect. They did not understand a word of it and now think I'm smarter than them."

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'