Corporate Life's Philosopher Gifts

'Hopkins! We ALL get tired of talking about flanges.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"We do all those old tricks electronically now."