Corporate Philosophy Gifts

"It's a new tally board I've been using. For every random act of kindness I perform, I allow myself three really spiteful acts of nastiness!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'T.M.I.F.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

'I'm afraid you don't have the leadership qualities we're seeking.'

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

I'm not making enough money to like you.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"