Corporate Life's Philosopher T-Shirts

'Hopkins! We ALL get tired of talking about flanges.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'T.M.I.F.'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

'I've given a lot of thought to giving some thought to your latest proposal.'

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!