Corporate Philosopher T-Shirts

"Miss Dugan, will you send someone in here who can distinguish right from wrong?"

' I used to lead by example but it was too much work.'

'Legal says we should be fine - provided no one left a paper trail.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'I eliminated all the platitudes and cliche statements, from your mission statement, and I'm left with this blank sheet of paper.'

'We can follow your moral compass as long as it doesn't interfere with my financial GPS.'

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"But if I'm not a senior collateral analyst for a high-volume, global marketing corporation...who am I?"

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'If i had my life to live over again... I'd make the same mistakes sooner'

"Every decision we made was legal, ethical and stupid."

'Consensus on a Friday afternoon...what a lovely way to begin the weekend!'

'When did we lose our way, Mike? When did our reckless pursuit of short-term, quasi-legal profits take precedence over prudent, far-sighted corporate growth? When, Mike, when?'

'They say money can't buy happiness. Find out what can.'

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

Genius

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

"Ignore me."

"Technology progress is being held up because of ethical concerns. We're hoping to eradicate ethics in our lifetime."

"Does anyone have even the vaguest idea of what we actually DO?"

"It's just us today. Campbell called in ethical."

"Sage nodding got me where I am today."

Ethics Dept: Right, That Gray Area, Wrong.

'I used to take life one day at a time. Now I take it one crisis at a time.'

Ethics (with an eye on the bottom line) committee.

I'm weighing the risk against the reward.

Old CEO: 'do not resuscitate.'

Guru, Inc: VP Parables, VP Allegories, VP Enigmas, VP Riddles.

'Flexibility means, yesterday's nonsense is today's corporate policy!'

"I'm not asking for a raise. All I'm asking for is a little warmth and human understanding."

Career Progression Ladder

'Management is all about 'empathy', about developing positive, supportive and healthy relationships with colleagues and staff... and if you can't get that through your thick skull then you'll be as useless as you look!'

Even if you're a CEO at a big corporation, you're still just a CEO at a big corporation.

'Life isn't all about the money.It's all about the little people you step on along the way.'

"Is it my fault he guessed the wrong hand?"