Business World Philosopher T-Shirts

'I'm on Break.'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'

"You're a genius, Shaw. This is an idea whose copyright has expired."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

US v.s. Tech Giants

Target your customer.

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'I'd like to explain my ideas for economy within the company.'

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"If we can't find the way forward, let's find the way back."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Genius

'As chairman, that's my opinion. I propose we table any motion to further discuss this matter. All those in favor say 'aye'. All those opposed say 'bye'.'

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.